THE LORD OF THE RING!!

The day began much like any other. It was an early winter morning in November (disregard the presents in the background). The day was a lazy one as it was the weekend and I didn't have to work this day. I awoke. Complete (IE: with ring). Who was to know, this was the day the ring would try and escape from its owner.


The day became an arduous one. While the rings owner thought today was going to the aforementioned "lazy" one, the ring (and the owner's wife) had other plans. CHORES ABOUNDED!! "To the store", said the wife of ring's owner. "We need sustenance!! But first we need to put in the laundry." A loud sigh came from the ring's owner as he trekked past the trials of the never-endingly long hallway to the house of laundry.

Here, in the house of laundry sits the monsters of peril which many a man (and perhaps one woman) dread more than any other. These particular beasts of burden require extra attention as they are peculiarly good at not doing their jobs properly. The rings owner must pay a toll to the machine in order to make it function. While most days, it was paid in dollars and cents. Today, with the help of the ring, it was much more. With the toll paid, the monster filled its cavity with liquid to help dissolve the soap (otherwise, because they are so crappy, it leaves white soap spots all over your clothes and makes you wonder why you even bother washing them in the first place...) The ring's owner stuffed the clothes into the soapy opening, making sure as to not overfill the monster.

Then, back to the domicile and off to the next journey. To the store, back from the store, back to the laundry. What is this?! The owner spent too long away from his laundry that some other villager took out their clothes and cast them aside like unwanted scraps. Saddened, the owner took his clothes and moved them to the fire breathing dragon which scorches the clothes dry and then back to his shire.

Due to the large amounts of evils in the world, training is required to maintain peak performance. "TO THE GYM!!", the wife said. After hours of training, lifting heavy objects, and stretching (as to not get cramps) the owner and his wife make their way back home.

It wasn't until now when the owner noticed. When had it happened? Where did it go?! The ring... it had successfully made its escape!!!!!! But where? But when? Had he had it all day? Did he lose it only recently?

Mildly panicked, he scoured high and low. Back to the gym, back to the laundry room, to the car, in the bed, under the bed, the couch, hallway, laundry room, in the other people's laundry (while the wife stood lookout. Maybe they stole the ring?) etc, etc, etc. The ring was lost. Sadness again filled the owner. He wept and wept (well not really).

After some time passed. The owner stood up with an epiphany. He ran out of the house and down the never-endingly long hallway to the house of laundry. Perhaps, he thought, when the vandals removed the clothes instead of stealing the ring, as was previously thought, the ring fell out. He fell to his hands and knees and scoured the depths of the dirty ground. A glint came from under one of the monsters feet. With a forceful nudge, he lifted the front of the monster to see it there. Sitting sheepishly, staring back at its owner, laid the ring.

With the ring back in the owners possession, the world is right again. The scare the ring gave would not be forgotten. To this day, the owner has not worn it since, at least until it is re-sized to the point where it won't fall off again.

The moral of this story, at least I think the one which was learned... DON'T EVER DO THE LAUNDRY!! Get someone else to do it.